Note : It is a piece of satire / fake news created with the sole purpose to entertain. And has no correlation with any person or institution whatsoever. Viewers discretion advised.
JPSC (Jabardast Public Service Commission), already having the distinction of being India’s most efficient public service commission added another feather to it’s cap when United Nations requested it’s assistance in conducting UNDO - United Nation’s Development Officer exam.
Giving reasons for selecting JPSC for this job, UN Secretary General told Social Anda that considering the nature of job, JPSC was the automatic choice.
“You see – other agencies conduct the whole process in just 2-3 months which is not good for our lifestyle, considering the economic distress we are in due to Corona, and also because of that moody Trump cutting our pocket money recently”, he said.
Further enumerating the reasons behind selecting JPSC, he pointed out that JPSC was the world’s only agency having expertise in stretching just one selection process for more than 6 years. If they are able to do the same for us, we won’t have to pay even a single dollar to these rats (aspirants). Additionally, we will make handy profit by sale of exam forms.”
“JPSC is simply marvellous. Just look at the amazing work they have done with the latest civil service exam of their state. It lies in a limbo even after 5 years, with no certainty on when the entire process will complete. In fact, when the process seemed to be on finishing point, JPSC played a master stroke by goofing up with the qualifying marks, and adding them to the merit list calculation,” he pointed out.
This is what we expect JPSC to do for us. Keep UNDOING the UNDO selection steps, one after another so that entire process doesn’t get complete for at least next decade.
Our correspondent met JPSC chairman who was preparing Chakhna for their daily evening party.
His matric fail advisors and officers were trying to impress him by opening liquor bottle for him with their already overworked ass, considering the fact that they also think with it. In the process, two got hospitalised with bottles stuck in their posterior.
When asked about the secret of JPSC success, Chairman pointed out to the glass of “Old Monk” in his hand. “We are like monks, sacrificing everything we have for the welfare of students”, he remarked.
When asked how he got the idea of adding qualification marks for merit calculation, he gave the entire credit to the extra hard pags he had taken that day.
“I was so high that day that forgot to check the excel formula which my matric-fail officers had copied from Google to make the merit list. But that turned out to be a lucky mistake, as now we will be able to fulfill the mission JPSC was made for. Which is to help students do public service, by remaining unemployed and saving public money.”
Buoyed at the news of JPSC going to conduct exam, UNDO aspirants have already started affixing the title – United Nation Deputy Collector before their Facebook name. Some have already decided their rank and given it to press for publishing.
Even aspirant’s parents seem relieved and happy. “Earlier there were too many uncertainty in the selection process. Apart from giving money as commission our wards also had to do unnecessary stuffs like studying hard. But now, we only have to focus on arranging money. JPSC selection process is more transparent now.”
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